Today it is exactly 7 years to the day I had my first ever tattoo which says, “Love you Dado”. Why Dado, because I called my dad, pops, dado, pappa and fatheram, depending on my mood on the day. He became my Dado during our final months together, growing up he was strictly my Pappa. As he mellowed with age, I found the courage and earned the licence to show my affection by addressing him as Dado.
So, the tattoo was done on 11th June 2016, 7 years back by a lovely lady called Donna, to this day I send her my gratitude because that day she helped me find the courage to have something permanently etched on my body. It took courage and boldness along with a degree of recklessness for someone like me to do this. However, it is when we take uncomfortable steps that we really know who we are. Grief is powerful, it can give us an invincibility to experiment with life. That is what happened after my best friend, my father died. My emotional growth happened when I had nothing to lose. This tattoo means so much more than just words.
I am honestly, not the kind of person who would ever want a tattoo let alone to have one before this event. How losing someone we deeply love changes us?
Even now, when I look at my tattoo, I still love it, and I am glad I said yes to having this inscribed with vegan ink on my left forearm. In his final days often, my dad would be sitting on his recliner with his right hand outside his blanket holding my left hand. Often there were no words but there was this sense of happiness. My father had exceptionally long hands and long fingers. I am pleased to say I have inherited this gift from my father. Our hands are powerful for me it is this hand that held my father’s hand when I was a little girl. It is this hand that held his hand for comfort. And even on the cover of my book without a deliberate strategy I have my father’s hand holding mine because his invisible hand still guides me and reminds me always to keep going forward.
When I see this tattoo it just gives me that extra lift to keep going. The tattoo was my superpower when I was questioning why I was running the London marathon. The tattoo makes me smile. It brings me closer to my dad to whom I owe so much.
The story of love between father and child are common, and those who have been blessed with such a bond will relate to this. Whenever, I doubt myself I am reminded that God’s way of showing that I am worthy, and I am loved, is through the gift of this wonderful man whom I am proud to call my father.
He taught me so much but most of all, he taught me to have a tiger’s heart, never let anything or anyone diminish my light. To be strong, to have faith and to be kind to others.
The words on my tattoo are powerful. It is the truth, yet it can feel raw at times. As we approach another Father’s Dad, to all those missing their father’s earthly presence, my message is, like a rainbow, your father is there but you will only feel him when he knows you need him.
I had this tattoo done to mark Father’s Day in 2016, and it is the best thing I did to celebrate what my father and I share, a deep love that is precious, permanent and priceless. Nothing else comes close.
Peace be with you.
©DMP
11th June 2024
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