Words have the power to guide us and dictate us along the wrong path if we are not careful. Today is day seven since I decided started my detox from the TV, Netflix, social media, news apps, and WhatsApp, and to my surprise I have no yearning to check these.  

I started this experiment after finding myself in the heaviness of December blues. This is not new for me as at the end of December I mark my father’s death anniversary, and inevitably this takes me down the road of mixed emotions, and with this comes that emotional heaviness, and physical exhaustion.  However, this time something else was happening, I felt totally wiped out and in a hopeless place in my world. It is rare but I reached out to my closest of friends and told them I needed their help. It took courage to even ask as I am usually the one who offers  a listening ear, and advice!

Recognising after my conversations with my closest friends that my life was lacking in balance, and I was in this place of overwhelm from where I am very good at helping my clients get out of, but getting myself out of was giving my own medicine to myself, the much needed self-care. 

This meant I had to close off everything that was invading my emotional space and just go inwards, if something feels off, instead of blaming the world, we must do the inner work as change begins from inside out. Self accountability and saying no to negativity is my takeaway from this mini yet impactful experiment. 

The reflections from day seven are, well done to me for turning off all these things that zapped my energy and power. I have had time to get up early without feeling exhausted, getting on my yoga mat, and stretching!. I have had time to begin my day at 5.30am with my cup of tea and journal. I have been journaling daily for eleven years now, and I have just started on my 73rd journal pad, but the journaling right now is more of a pick me up conversation with myself, and gratitude reflection.

This has been powerful, I even eat without any distraction like Monks do, in complete silence, appreciating the food, its texture, and thanking God for the plate full of food. This is what is called living mindfully, my walks and runs with my German Shepherd are fun, and when I look at myself I feel and look more relaxed, peaceful and happy. I see myself for the first time after a long while. I am Leadership Coach, I preach self-care yet it took me feeling lost to find me again. I am sharing this not to say look at me but with humility and a degree of vulnerability in my soul, to say, despite what I do to help my clients even I need to reconnect with my inner soul to remind me of my greatness, and to say I AM WORTHY. 

I announced to my connections, friends and clients that I am incognito mode till after the start of the new year, so there may be more reflections to come as I plan to sustain the momentum gained and walk through Christmas, and my father’s eleventh anniversary, first time without the distraction of drowning myself in passive TV watching or scrolling on my mobile phone to forget my aches. 

Here I am feeling deeply grateful for the privilege life I have had thus far, and with a sense of clarity, and peace I last felt may be in 2016, when I turned a page through my running, to find me after losing my dad.

 If you are reading this and are at a place of feeling disheartened or lost, practice the surrender experiment, you will find you but to do that  one has to go inwards, and close the door on the world for a short while, and decide do I respond and react, or do I regain my own sense of wellbeing. IT IS A CHOICE, WE CAN MAKE, Because I AM WORTHY and so are YOU. 
Peace be with you. 
© DMP 21st December, 2024.